Torn by Dissension
by Sixheartagram
Summary: A story of forbidden love, betrayal, a shattered past romance, and the inevitable distance that comes between even the best of friends after high school.


**Torn by Dissension**

**A story of forbidden love, betrayal, a shattered past romance, and the inevitable distance that comes between even the best of friends after high school.**

_I said I used to think the past was dead and gone,_  
_But I was wrong, so wrong, whatever makes you blind_  
_Must make you strong. -Marcus Foster_

I've always-sort of-stumbled through life, and always walked with two left feet instead of one right and one left. I used to be normal-clumsy, but normal. Everyone has their ups and downs in life and in those lowest moments when you feel you've lost the will to live; somehow you still manage to survive. You spend every night thinking, and truly believing that you are never going to wake up the next morning, but you always do.

Every time.

It's been four years since I graduated high school, although, sometimes it feels like it's been fourteen years rather than four. So many people would do anything to be able to go back to high school and do it over again, for whatever reason; while others tend to just forget about their experiences in high school and don't care enough to go back and change it, but my memories of high school have been forbidden from my mind, and it is not a topic open for conversation.

These past four years I've been stuck in limbo-literally-unable to move forward, unable to forget, and living every day as though a switch has been flipped from living to auto-pilot. I had become a living, breathing zombie of a human being. It just wasn't possible for me to lose any more than I've already lost. I really have nothing left to lose, except what ever semblance of dignity I may have left.

I'm currently in the middle of my third year at Cornell University and I plan to major in journalism. Charlie begged me after high school to go into engineering, but I never saw myself sitting around all day solving math problems in order to help build and construct chemical plants. Of course, there is more to engineering than that, but I never cared much for chemistry, physics, or science in general-even though those were probably my best subjects in high school.

I found peace and tranquility in reading and writing. I could easily spend the rest of my life just writing stories and be happy, and content in that career. So, that's where I am going with my choice of career. As for my other life choices...well, they've been tarnished, destroyed by someone I used to love, and with that being said, clearly, I have no love life to speak of.

I live in a somewhat smallish apartment with my best friend, Rose. Too many times have I thought to myself, "_God, she knows me better than I know myself_." It scares me sometimes how well she knows me. Last week she told me, _"Bella, you're an open book. I just can't help but read the pages."_ I shook my head, a chuckle slipping from between my lips at the memory.

"Bella, get your ass in here! You have to see this!" Rose yelled. I scowled, ignoring her. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are probably getting that divorce I've been waiting for since the day they got married. Celebrity relationships are pathetic, and incredibly ridiculous. I never cared about celebrities, let alone who was dating who, or who slept with who. Hollywood was a circus full of clowns put on TV just to entertain people and give them an hour and half to escape from their own miserable lives to watch somebody else be miserable. _Pathetic..._

"For Christ sake, Bella! Get the fuck in here. Now!" She demanded. I groaned purposely loud enough for her to hear as I walked into the living room. The glass of wine I was carrying slipped between my fingers and shattered against the hardwood floor when I realized why she had ordered me to come in here. The one person I hated most was on my TV screen...with his 'supposed' fiancé. I briefly considered screaming at her for making me come in here just so I can be tortured by the sight of _him_.

"Fuck you, Rose." I seethed, flipping her off as I retreated back into the kitchen.

"Don't give me that shit. You didn't even stop to listen to what they were saying about him. The second you saw him on the TV screen you flipped your shit." She argued, following me into the kitchen.

"Maybe I didn't want to hear it." I snapped, glaring at her.

"Oh, well, I thought you would have because she cheated on him." She informed me, crossing her arms over her chest with a smirk on her face. My eyes widened momentarily before I tried to compose myself and put on that mask I've been wearing for the past four years.

"And what the hell am I supposed to do with that information?" I inquired, trying to spread peanut butter on a piece of bread without tearing bits of bread off, but it looks like I had already destroyed it.

"Ughh!" I growled, throwing the slice of bread into the trash bin.

"You okay, Swan?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow at me suspiciously.

"Fantastic, Rose, really. Fine and dandy." I answered sarcastically.

"I swear, I am cutting his balls off if I ever see his ass strolling around here." She murmured, glaring at something outside the window above the sink.

"You have my permission." I replied, pouring myself another glass of wine.

"I wish you would tell me what happened." My eyes flashed to hers, but quickly looked down at the glass of wine in my hand when I saw the sympathy in her eyes.

"I have told you, Rose." I said quietly, tracing my finger around the top of the glass.

"Not everything. There's something you're still not telling me. I know I'm missing something, Bella." She came to stand next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

"Not tonight. I don't want to relive those memories right now." I said honestly. Rose sighed, looking at me sympathetically.

"Whenever you're ready, Bella. I'll be here to listen." She promised, squeezing me for a moment before returning to the living room. I sighed, staring out the window at nothing in particular. I was beginning to wonder if I'll ever be able to move on and just be happy, but I couldn't see myself being happy anytime soon.

Later that night, I decided to go online and browse the internet. I always got a kick out of reading celebrity gossip on TMZ, but instantly regretted my decison to go on a celebrity gossip website. The very first headline I saw was, "_Edward Cullen: Crushed over girlfriend's public cheating scandal."_ My stomach clenched at the image of him with her, and holding her hand with a smile on his face. I glared at his face on the screen of my laptop.

_I hate you. You ruined me, forever._

For some reason I read through the article, which was just like any other tabloid article you about celebrities and their "shocking" break-ups. My eyebrows raised at the number of comments the article has already. _Should I read what the world has to say about this? Was that even a good idea? _ I shook my head at the thought. _Why the hell should I care?_ Fuck it.

_**Anne01922:** I can't believe she cheated on him! What a BITCH!_

_**Cullenlover12**: He must be sooo heartbroken! I feel soooo bad for him! I'll comfort you Edward I'll make you feel better!_

_**Kateward4eva:** They'll work it out, I know they will! He loves her. _

I scrolled through several more comments not in the least interested in what people had to say because everyone seemed to be saying the same damn thing. This was ridiculous-why the hell am I even reading this crap? This is how people become obsessed and reading this shit is brainwashing. I can feel my brain cells slowly dying off the longer I sit here. I quickly exited the browser and turned off my laptop before curling into bed and cocooning myself in the bedsheets.


End file.
